Buster's All-Star Birthday Bonanza (Part 2)
by frostyfreezyfreeze54
Summary: Wade decides to help Buster achieve an important goal of his on the eve of his ninth birthday. Meanwhile, RK's dream may threaten his friendship with Sparky. And celebrities continue sending their best wishes to Buster.


_Thank You, Heavenly_

Theme Song: "Let It Roll" by Divide The Day

SEASON 1

EPISODE 16

Airdate: July 6, 2013 (August 28, 2013 for edited version)

Title: Buster's All-Star Birthday Bonanza (Part 2)

Segway Segment: Sparky's One To Grow On

Special Guest Stars: Daniel Bryan as Himself, Randy Orton as Himself, Ariana Grande as Herself, Cimorelli (Christina, Katherine, Lisa, Amy, Lauren, and Dani Cimorelli) as Themselves

ATTENTION: This episode has been reviewed and edited due to an inaccurate portrayal of Cimorelli.

ANNOUNCER: Last night on _Thank You, Heavenly..._

_A recap is shown of Part 1..._

SCENE 1

The Gajraj Household

Exterior Entrance

Seattle, Washington

The boys are just now leaving the party.

SPARKY: Whoa man, that was one hell of a hoedown!

RK: You said it, partner! WEE DOGGIES, that was quite the hootnanny!

WADE: Yes sir, buckaroos! We partied like real cowboys in the Old West! YEE-HAW!

(long pause)

RK: Dude, where do you think we are, Texas?

SPARKY: Yeah, and that Southern accent is so damn fake.

WADE: You know what, (bleep) RK and (bleep) you!

RK: What's wrong, Buster?

BUSTER: Oh, it's nothing.

SPARKY: Come on, buddy. About an hour into the party, you stopped having fun and just sat at the table looking bored.

RK: And you didn't even eat the cake.

BUSTER: It had nuts in it. What did you expect?

WADE: I guess it's not that bad. I mean, RK eats your nuts every day.

(RK stares angrily at Wade, who tries to ignore it while smiling)

BUSTER: It's just a personal thing.

SPARKY: Don't worry, Buster. You can tell us.

BUSTER: OK. The reason why I didn't have fun tonight was because I'm getting old.

(long pause)

(eyes closed) WADE: What?

BUSTER: I turn nine years old on Sunday. When that happens, I'm going to have to throw away my childhood and start thinking about my future.

WADE: What future? YOU'RE IN (BLEEP) ELEMENTARY SCHOOL!

BUSTER: That's another thing. If you're a genius, then why are you attending school with us?

SPARKY: Come to think of it, you never told us why.

WADE: You guys need me. If I go to college or work in a laboratory, who's going to remind RK what a fluffernutter consists of?

MARCH 15, 2013

RK: Oh man. What is that damn sandwich? I know it's peanut butter and...and...this is too hard!

WADE: Marshmallow. You're thinking of marshmallow, RK.

RK: Wade, you saved me. Now is it actual marshmallows, or marshmallow fluff? Oh, (bleep), I SHOULD'VE BEEN BORN IN MASSACHUSETTS!

SCENE 2

The Newman Condominium

Interior Living Room

Seattle, Washington

("Leave The Memories Alone" by Fuel is playing on Buster's iPod)

("Shave And A Haircut" door knock)

BUSTER: Come in, Wade.

WADE: Look, Buster, I know you have the birthday blues, but you can't sit here feeling sorry for yourself.

BUSTER: I'm not. I'm listening to rock music AND feeling sorry for myself. Stupid kids.

(Wade cocks his head)

WADE: Anyway, I think you can be cheered up with a birthday message from a WWE Superstar.

BUSTER: Oh, really, who?

(It's Daniel Bryan on Wade's iPad)

BUSTER: Daniel Bryan, the one and only?

DANIEL BRYAN: That's right, Buster. I want to wish you a happy birthday and plenty more after this one. Even though you stole my catchphrase, it's OK because I'm suing you for gimmick infringement. See you in court in Los Angeles the week of SummerSlam. I hope you have a better time tomorrow than Randy Orton did when I made him tap out in our Street Fight.

RANDY ORTON: OK, goat-face, that's enough! I'm sick and tired of you bringing up that damn Street Fight! Congratulations, you won the match, big deal. Because for every anything-goes match you've been in here in the WWE, I'VE BEEN IN TEN MORE!

DANIEL BRYAN: I proved on RAW that I'm NOT the weak link.

RANDY ORTON: I don't care what you are and what you're not. All I know is I'm going to kick your ass and I wouldn't want your little fan club to see it.

DANIEL BRYAN: Uh, I'll talk to you some other time, Wade. Happy Birthday Buster!

(Daniel Bryan leaves Facetime)

SCENE 3

Starbucks

Interior Coffee Shop

Seattle, Washington

SPARKY: So why did you call me here? I have coffee at home.

RK: I've called you here all the time since last year. And they have the best Frappucino in history!

(RK slurps in excitement)

SPARKY: Uh-huh? Now, what's this all about?

("What's It All About?" by Run-DMC plays in the background)

SPARKY: I said what's THIS all about, Dave.

DAVE: Sorry.

RK: Look, Sparky, I had a dream last night.

SPARKY: We all have dreams, RK.

RK: And Halley was in it.

(long pause)

SPARKY: OK, people are in other people's dreams all the time. No big deal.

RK: And we kissed.

(long pause)

SPARKY: Was it a hot kiss?

RK: Full-on make-out session. We went to second base, and she knew how to drive the ol' stick-shift, if you catch my drift.

(long pause)

RK: Well, I'm glad I cleared that up. So, do you think David Wright will be the third baseman for the NL in the All-Star Game?

SPARKY: Hey RK, do you know what my favorite juice is?

RK: I don't know. Grape juice?

SPARKY: FRUIT PUNCH!

(The minute Sparky says that, he decks RK right in the jaw)

RK: Oh dude, just because you say fruit punch, doesn't mean you punch me. It's like Knock On Wood, you don't actually owe the person a soda!

SPARKY: Stay away from Halley, and never talk to me again!

(Sparky leaves, then comes back with money)

SPARKY: Oh yeah, thanks for the (bleep) coffee!

(Sparky slams the money on the table, kicks RK low, does the DX chop, and leaves to the shock of the customers)

SCENE 4

The Newman Condominium

Interior Bedroom

Seattle, Washington

WADE: What are we doing in your room?

BUSTER: Do you remember my eighth birthday last year?

WADE: How could I forget? It was the 25th anniversary of Eric B. & Rakim's _Paid In Full _album. If only I knew at the time.

BUSTER: I'll just forget about your rap music obsession. Anyway, I made a list the day after of nine things I wanted to do before I turned nine. And I haven't done any of it yet.

WADE: Let me see that list. (gets list) "Discover Moon cheese?" Buster, that's just a theory. There's no such thing as the Moon being made of cheese.

BUSTER: Really?

WADE: Really. But it's my suspicion that it might be cream-filled.

BUSTER: Cool. What about the other eight things?

WADE: They're either impossible to do at this juncture or just plain stupid. Really? Pogo stick around the world?

BUSTER: I'm eight years old, WHAT THE (BLEEP) DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!

WADE: And slow-witted, a little dim, the stupidest TSE member...

(Buster stares a dagger at Wade)

WADE: I'll shut up now. Hey, you wrote a tenth thing. It's your "One To Grow On" thing to do.

BUSTER: I forgot about that one. What does it say?

WADE: "Have my first kiss. With a girl." RK, right?

BUSTER: Yeah.

WADE: You know what Buster, we still have a whole day ahead of us.

BUSTER: You're going to help me get my first kiss?

WADE: Hell yeah.

BUSTER: Whoa, man! Thank you, Wade! Thank you, thank you, thank you! This is more awesome than when...when...I made my first sandwich!

FEBRUARY 15, 2011

BUSTER: Finished. A peanut butter, jelly bean, and chocolate syrup sandwich. And this pint of vanilla ice cream with cake frosting to wash it down!

WADE: You put jelly beans on a sandwich? Gross!

BUSTER: To this day, I'm still amazed I didn't get food poisoning.

SEGWAY SEGMENT

DAVE: Vanessa, I'm gay.

VANESSA: You are?

DAVE: Yeah. I realized it yesterday.

VANESSA: I don't think we can hang out anymore.

DAVE: Why? You think I've changed?

VANESSA: Not necessarily, but I can't be around people who are gay. It's kind of creepy.

SPARKY: Damn. I'm Sparky MacDougal from the American cartoon _Thank You, Heavenly _with a very important thing to talk about. Every day, the LGBT community faces severe prejudice just for their sexual orientation. This is no different from racism or xenophobia. We need to treat everybody with dignity and respect. Being part of the LGBT openly doesn't make you creepy. It makes you secure and happy. Now, let's see if Vanessa took the hint.

VANESSA: Dave, we've been friends for years. I'm not turning my back on you just because you're gay.

DAVE: So we can still hang out?

VANESSA: Of course. Now, let's find you some hot guys to talk to.

SPARKY: This has been one to grow on. (winks at the camera)

SCENE 5

The Vidal Household

Seattle, Washington

Interior Living Room

HALLEY: RK, I want to thank you for coming here and talking to me about this.

RK: You're welcome.

HALLEY: But you can't say stuff like that to Sparky. When it comes to me, he's very defensive.

RK: I found out first-hand. He fruit punched me.

HALLEY: OK? We need to go to his house and straighten this out. Now he thinks you like me.

RK: We have to hurry. I can't let him hate me forever.

(RK bolts for the door, but stops)

RK: Just at a curiosity, do you think I'm attractive?

HALLEY: RK!

RK: Going.

SCENE 6

The Rodriguez Household

Exterior Entrance

Seattle, Washington

WADE: Buster, are you sure this is who you want to ask first? I mean, you have to consider...

BUSTER: Wade, everyone knows Ashley is the hottest girl in the fourth grade. A kiss from her and I can live off that until junior high.

WADE: OK.

(Wade rings the doorbell)

ASHLEY: Oh, hey guys. You don't have to worry, Buster. I got the invitation from Sparky and I'm coming to your birthday party.

BUSTER: Great. But that's not what I came here for.

ASHLEY: Then what?

WADE: Buster made a list last year of nine things he wanted to do before he turned nine. He also wrote one thing to grow on, which was to get his first kiss.

ASHLEY: Awww, that's sweet.

BUSTER: So, I'm hoping you can kiss me.

ASHLEY: Buster, you're a very nice guy. But it would feel awkward to kiss someone I have no feelings for. But keep at it.

BUSTER: I understand. I'll try another girl.

ASHLEY: Happy early birthday!

BUSTER: Thank you.

WADE: OK, let's face facts. I've seen your cheerleading pictures, and Buster is merely just a kid. You want a man. A man that will take your lips for a ride.

(Wade puckers up)

ASHLEY: Is that Halley's Comet?

WADE: No way. It's not set to reach Earth again until...

(Ashley literally kicks Wade's ass off the steps and onto the ground, and then locking the door)

WADE: 2061.

BUSTER: Well, we can try Sanna next, and then maybe Whitney?

WADE: Whatever, it's your call. At least I preserved my iPad. Hey, to lift your spirits, another birthday message.

(Cat Valentine voice) ARIANA GRANDE: HI BUSTER!

BUSTER: Cat? How are you friends with Wade?

ARIANA GRANDE: It's me, Ariana Grande, silly. Wade always tells me you're a goofball.

WADE: I say worse things on occasion, but I want to comply with the network censors.

BUSTER: Wade, remind me to kick your ass later. So, Ariana, you have anything to say?

ARIANA GRANDE: Well, dude, happy birthday from here in Los Angeles. And you're really adorable.

(Buster's blushing)

BUSTER: Oh, stop it. I'm not that cute. I'm too cute.

ARIANA GRANDE: And funny too. I need you to be my Facetime buddy sometime. Hey Wade, chat with me on Monday, OK?

WADE: Sure thing, Ms. Grande. Later.

ARIANA GRANDE: Later.

(Ariana Grande leaves Facetime)

SCENE 7

The MacDougal Household

Interior Living Room

Seattle, Washington

SPARKY: Santa's Little Helper, do I really need friends?

(Santa's Little Helper meows "Probably not.")

SPARKY: Yeah. No new friends, right?

(SLH meows "You listen to Drake? Gross.")

SPARKY: What, he's not horrible. Better than most of today's rappers. And have respect, he started from the bottom.

(SLH meows "Growing up in a wealthy Jewish neighborhood while starring on _ Degrassi _doesn't constitute starting from the bottom.")

SPARKY: Haters gonna hate, I guess.

(SLH meows "Ah, bite me.")

SPARKY: I hate you!

(doorbell)

SPARKY: It's open.

(Halley runs toward Sparky and starts making out with him)

SPARKY: Halley, what's with the affection? Not that I mind.

HALLEY: I just want you to know, I'm all yours. You don't have to worry about RK moving in on me.

SPARKY: He talked to you?

RK: Yes, he did. Look, Sparky, I don't blame you for being mad. I know I can be an asshole sometimes. But that dream meant nothing. Halley means nothing to me.

HALLEY: RK, who says you can't charm a girl?

RK: Actually, a lot of people. Always.

SPARKY: I accept your reasoning. On one condition?

RK: What?

SPARKY: I am free to give you...a CHUM HUG!

RK: No, Sparky, not a chum hug, no...

(Sparky gives RK a tight chum hug)

RK: Here we go again...

HALLEY: I want to join in.

RK: A threesome on national television, yeah!

(It's now a three-person chum hug)

SCENE 8

Various houses in Seattle, Washington of Buster & Wade's fourth-grade class and other fourth-graders

WADE: Well, Buster, let's get you that kiss.

BUSTER: BRING ON THE GIRLS!

("Kiss Kiss" by Chris Brown featuring T-Pain playing in the background)

Buster and Wade fail at every attempt to score him a kiss. It goes like this:

Sanna-felt uncomfortable; Wade tried to make-out with her, but she beat him

Whitney-just plain thought kissing Buster would be gross; slammed door in Wade's face

Jaylynn-Wade called her and they went to her hotel room; she said she would attend Buster's party, but declined to kiss him; beat Wade with a steel chair for making the moves on her

Alicia-offered to give Buster a cheek kiss, but he refused; told Wade not to even go there

Kaily-had a boyfriend and didn't want to jeopardize friendship with Buster; a disgusted Wade didn't even want to hit on her

BUSTER: Well, this has been an absolute failure. Why did I lose all I had for Kaily?

WADE: You're lucky. At least you lost it before you got really hurt. I got a tender ass from Ashley, a black eye from Sanna, a broken nose from Whitney, and 19 stitches in my skull from Jaylynn. I'm just glad Alicia had the decency to tell me what was coming. Otherwise, I'd be in a sling, a steel cast, or on crutches.

BUSTER: I feel like this is all my fault. Sorry for all those hospital trips in between.

WADE: Don't blame yourself. This is what I signed up for when I hit on girls that have zero interest in me. Hmmm, another birthday message. Whoa, these guys?

BUSTER: Nah, it can't be.

(It's Cimorelli on Wade's iPad)

BUSTER: Am I high right now?

CHRISTINA: Nope. I'm Christina.

KATHERINE: I'm Katherine.

LISA: I'm Lisa.

AMY: I'm Amy.

LAUREN: I'm Lauren.

DANI: I'm Dani.

CIMORELLI: AND WE'RE CIMORELLI!

WADE: I love it when they do that.

BUSTER: Hey guys.

AMY: What's the problem, birthday boy?

BUSTER: Well, I haven't gotten my first kiss yet and I want one bad.

KATHERINE: Well, you're eight years old going on nine years old. You have all the time to have that special first kiss.

WADE: Dani is 13, and she hasn't had her first kiss yet. In fact, nobody in the group has had one.

BUSTER: None of you? Am I missing something here?

DANI: True story. I also don't want it too soon.

LAUREN: Yeah, you see, we're all Catholics and we believe that marriage is the best time to have our first kiss.

BUSTER: Oh...

KATHERINE: Is there a...

WADE: Buster's an atheist.

KATHERINE: Don't sweat it, it's cool. We don't exclude anybody.

BUSTER: Well, that's reassuring.

LISA: I always thought the first kiss should be with the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. And you're a great guy, Buster. If other girls can't see that, they're not worth your time.

BUSTER: Thanks so much, Lisa. You really are the moral compass of the group.

LISA: Awww, I have my moments.

WADE: See. None of these girls think the first kiss has to happen soon. And besides, they're Cimorelli. It'll take them years to get some.

(The sisters stare angrily at Wade)

WADE: Maybe I should've whispered.

CHRISTINA: I'd kiss you, Buster. If I were your age. And I wasn't waiting until marriage to have my first one.

BUSTER: Thanks Christina.

CHRISTINA: Don't mention it.

CIMORELLI: AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY FROM CIMORELLI, BUSTER!

BUSTER: Thanks girls.

(Wade quits Facetime)

WADE: I'll talk to them this week.

TASANYA: Hi Buster, hi Wade.

WADE: Well, if it isn't Tasanya Coloradoaguillar.

(Tasanya hugs both boys)

TASANYA: I heard that you've been trying to get your first kiss all day, Buster.

BUSTER: Yeah. It's been complete bullshit.

TASANYA: Well, I think you've been asking the wrong girls.

WADE: He has?

TASANYA: Yeah. If you want one, you should have asked me. You're so sweet.

BUSTER: Oh, stop it, you're making me blush, it's EMBARRASSING.

WADE: Well, it looks like you're going to get your first kiss after all. While we're on the subject, are you busy next Friday night?

(Buster pushes Wade away and kisses Tasanya for five seconds)

BUSTER: Wow.

WADE: You know, I was brutally assaulted by several girls, and I...

(Tasanya kisses Wade for five seconds)

WADE: This is what safe sex must feel like.

SCENE 9

The MacDougal Household

Interior Living Room

Seattle, Washington

(Buster and Wade come inside)

SPARKY: OK, what happened?

RK: Give me the deets.

BUSTER: I got my first kiss. From Tasanya.

RK: You lucky bastard. YOU CHEATING BASTARD, I HATE YOU!

(RK slaps Buster and goes upstairs)

SPARKY: How about you, Wade?

WADE: Tasanya kissed me too. And several girls beat me for reasons I won't get into at this time.

SPARKY: OK then. So, my best friend got lip from Tasanya. Nice.

BUSTER: Thanks bro. It was magical. Just like Cimorelli didn't say.

SPARKY: Cimorelli?

WADE: He got a birthday message from them. And Ariana Grande and Daniel Bryan, with an interruption from Randy Orton.

SPARKY: Wow, Buster, this must be the greatest weekend you've ever been through.

BUSTER: It definitely is. But wait, there's more.

WADE: What?

BUSTER: I'm in love with Tasanya. And tomorrow night at the party, I'm going to ask her out.

(Sparky and Wade look shocked)

To be continued...

TESTICULAR SOUND EXPRESS: Now it's time for...

KIDS: Music Time!

STEVE SONGS: With Steve Songs.

("Love Sick" by the Jonas Brothers playing in the end credits)

©2013 ANDERSON PRODUCTIONS


End file.
